Tag: self-help

Resistance Empowers

by Achieving Metanoia, posted in Uncategorized

I’ve been resistant to what I feel is expected of me and what I feel is my truth, my path.

I think that’s why I feel such uneasiness within myself.

I’ve attempted to get others to see things my way in order for me to progress on my goals; needing others’ approval to go after my goals. When they don’t see things my way and are pessimistic or say what they think I should do instead, I get drawn into self-doubt, adapting to their doubts, fears, comforts, and compliances that are projected onto me in order to maintain their levels of comfort.

I can no longer expect the type of support needed to progress from those who are comfortable in their complacency.

People can only help you at the level of their comfort.

I have to remind myself that sometimes people can only support you on the level that their beliefs allow them. It’s not that they’re wishing ill upon me or wanting worse for me, it’s just that they don’t know any other way other than the conditioned way. So, my life’s vision may trigger discomfort for them which may be expressed as concern, doubt, annoyance, and sometimes attempted control, which results in my feeling held back. Intentionally or unintentionally, this may be true. But, what if most of the time it was done out of love? Yes, it may be their fears projected onto me disguised as love; but it’s still due to their level of understanding, nonetheless.

I’m learning to give up the resistance and not allow their words to affect me as I have in the past. For words become your reality. Focus on MY TRUTH, what MY standard of being is. I’ve focused too much on the upset that they were trying to “hold me down” and didn’t respect my independence or free thinking. Their vocalized wishes and their statements only prove that they didn’t have faith in me. I allowed the discouragement and the lack of “aligned support” to distract me. 

Now I know that others’ words only have power over one’s life when you give them that power.

And today, I choose to no longer empower them with my resistance. Don’t let people decide who you are.

Three Weeks Ago…

by Achieving Metanoia, posted in Uncategorized

My biggest fear became my darkest reality. This has left me with the choice of either falling deeper into sorrow, despair, and regret as I get sicker with anxiety or rising above it all and transmuting this peculiar ascetic martyrdom into renewed vitality. I understand there are things we don’t have control over, things that are inevitable. Therefore, instead of living in this anxious, debilitating energy of focusing on the things I have no control over, I really want to make the choice of focusing on the things that I do have some control over. I understand it’s pointless, even detrimental to focus on what I cannot change, the time that I can never get back, the decisions I made that I can’t go back and change; even if I could, that might have brought on a new set of questions and regrets.

Though my heart aches, and I have no idea how long I’ll feel this emptiness, I cannot allow myself to wallow in this sorrow of what I cannot change. It does me no good focusing on the would’ve, could’ve, or should’ve. It does no good being angry at the timing of it all.

What matters is what I do now moving forward. If only I could just focus on being the person I was always meant to be and stop focusing on being (or not being) the person others think I am or want me to be. Though right now, I feel so alone, even somewhat abandoned, I must remind myself that I am indeed not alone, and I will not go on about my life as such. Though it hurts to adjust to this stage in life, I can not allow the pain to take over, thus, stealing more time. This frustration I feel will be put to productive use. From this day on, I choose to be conscientious in how I show up for those closest to me, those I encounter, the world at large, and most importantly, myself.